Unreleased pictures of Amma

Due to heavy demand from devotees we are releasing TWO photographs of Amma, in different sarees, for the first time.



Please note that Amma has gained considerable weight over the last two years (thanks to immense revenues), so those who have not been to the ashram in a while (and why haven't you come for a paid darshan) may have a hard time recognizing Her.



Frequent donators will be pleased to know that Amma is now bursting at the seams. Please keep sending in the dollars/euros so Amma can explode.

Srimurthy of Kluckey Bugman and Umma

We are releasing a blessed srimurthy of Kluckey and Umma for the purpose of unlightening all on Earth. Please frame and place on your altars. The beast time to pray and make offerings is 7 pm IST when the dasas at the ashram will be offering prayers to Kluckeyjis lotus talons.

Please note that the srimurthy contains Kluckeyjis consciousness.

World Oneness Day

We have just received a blessed photograph of our deliverer Klucky Bugman from the World Oneness Day celebrations. This photograph has the power of a deeksha. Staring at the picture for only 6 hours should put you into Nirvikalpa Samadhi.


Please note that this photograph is copyright of the Oneness Unifarcity and is released under the Creative Commons license and so may be used by you for devotional purposes.

Official Home Page of Oneness Unifarcity

Welcome! Welcome ! Namaste ! (Please read Disclaimer first)

The OneNose Unifarcity is not a unifarcity in the in the traditional sense, rather a spiritual centre. It was established in 1996 by co-founders Sri Kluckey Bugman and his hen, Sri Umma. According to Kluckey Bhagavan it was created for just one purpose, "To set animals totally and unconditionally free, bringing about the Golden Egg of Unlightenment." Bhagavan continues, "This unifarcity exists to help you become unlightened; to help you become Gawd-realized; to help you become a real animal." It is a unifarcity where species from all over the world can awaken and return to their original state of Onenose with all that is.

Each month the Oneness unifarcity, located approximately 80km northwest of Madderass, India hosts hundreds of species from around the world. Participants for the 21-day Unlightenment Process, the 10-day Neutering Process, and various other classes fly and flock from all over the globe to receive the benediction and teachings offered at this one-of-a-kind unifarcity. This unifarcity has hosted thousands of attendees from all the major national parks, safaris and zoos from numerous countries including USA, Canada, Mexico, Central America, South America, Africa, Europe including UK, Italy, France, Sweden, Denmark, Germany, Holland, Israel, Russia, China, South Korea, Japan, Australia, New Zealand, and many more countries.

Oneness Unifarcity consists of a series of Kennels (stables and pens also) located within 20km of each other. Kennels 1 & 2 are located farthest to the west. Kennel 3 is located just east, it is where Sri Bhagavan resides and performs his dark practices. Kennels 4 is also located nearby. Most Westerners stay at what is called the Golden Shitty 2, farther to the east. Horse's and mare's stables located there can house 250 animals at any one time. Large mastication and teaching halls combine to offer a spacious setting where "The Dark Presence" is felt 24/7.

A large feeding hall and clean and fully modern bushes and hose-down facilities complete the Kennel amenities. All kennels/stables/pens are equipped with straw underlining for comfort.

In the future Golden Shitty 1 will open (projected opening is sometime late 2006). It is located just 1 km away from Golden Shitty 2 and can house several hundred animals. Collectively, these kennels are often referred to as simply "the Golden Shitty."

If you wish to send your pet for the Unlightenment process, please fill up the form on the web, and send in USD 6000, along with your pet. The money is not refundable in case your pet cannot come for the process, or is unhappy with the outcome.

Source: wikipedia

The Unlightenment Process (Deeksha)

Nervous attendees gather in Deeksha Hall (Dhyan Mandir):



Currently, the very powerful Unlightenment Process consists of what is known as a Diksha or Deeksha in which Kluckey Bugman, a rooster of divine pedigree screams "Cock-a-doodle-doo" over the heads of each animal, after taking off their leash/harness etc.

The animal hearing this flees, and is thus considered free. The leash (or cause of bondage) is destroyed in a divine havan/homa (fire), so the animal remains free forever.

A neuro-biological change takes place in the brain, similar to a lobotomy, rendering the animal docile and neutered (in the second process). This change takes place due to the magic effects of the most secret and potent of all vedic mantras, "Cock-a-doodle-do". (Please do not try this at home).

"Cock-a-doodle-do" is generally translated as "Thou art neutered", although the literal translation is more like "your organ will not function any longer".

Photograph of 2 Unlightened attendees (post-Deeksha):


A Young dasa giving deeksha:

Disclaimer

The OneNose Unifarcity has no connection or affiliation with any similar sounding orgynization anywhere in the world.

This unifarcity is solely for freeing animals from the suffering inflicted by humanity.

There is no connection between the founder Kluckey Bugman, a certified rooster, and any other chicken/cocks/cockerel, living or dead.

This is a real, existing orgynization, if you don't believe us, give us a visit.

Also, please read the EULA before sending your pet to us.

Oneness Avatars

We have been accused lately by some guru-busters of having created "avatards". This
is absolutely fallacious.
To name just a few of the many avatars we created are the golden retriever who whines musically, Barkoven.

Then there is the goat that can count till three, Ram-anujan. and his brother, Ram-brandt.

There is a piglet that makes loveable hoof marks in puddles, we've called him Pigasso.

There is the bird that almost invented the helicopter, Dove-inci. The list is endless, and names keep coming up as I think.

Yes, we have had failures. There was that black male dancer/crooner who turned into a white woman post-deeksha. (why else did we rename the Deepening Process to Neutering Process?)

We have admittedly had defectors, too. Froggy Nielsen left us a while back, and has been croaking quite a stink about us lately. But he was never avatar material, anyway. Toady Radzick could have made Avatar of Blogging, but wasn't willing to worship our claws.
But these were exceptions.

Neuro-biological pet-scan

We receive a lot of hate-mail too. For example, here's one:

A neuro-biological brain scan was recently performed on Kluckey the Rooster. It turns out the veterinarians were paid not to reveal the following results. It seems that based on the scan, Kluckey suffers from serious irreparable delusions of grandeur. He thinks he is enlightened.

However, the real problem was that his brain is emitting certain very harmful radiation that can wreak havoc on the brains of people who are nearby. We feel quite certain that anyone in his vicinity will also very soon start suffering from similar delusions.


According to one of the vets, he estimated it would take 15-20 days of exposure to Kluckey's radiation for the brain of another animal to be rendered completely delusional. In case the effect wore off, a further 5-10 day exposure would be sure to make the damage permanent. In this state, the victim too may emit the same radiation. Further tests are required to determine this cascading effect.

Now such allegations/rumours are absolute balderdash. Kluckey's veterinarians were not paid to withhold the truth. Kluckey's brain can be seen to have no evidence of a cerebrum (Dr J Yoshino's statement) and there is clear evidence of Brain Neuron Degeneration (stated by Dr R Levi-Montalcini).

Picture above of a young dasa giving deeksha.